Personal Boundaries: What Are They and How to Assert Yourself Better

Personal boundaries are limits that you establish for your physical and emotional wellbeing. You establish these limits so other people know now to cross them. In general, most people have an awareness of a person’s boundaries without you having to say a word. Common sense allows people to know what is comfortable and what is not. However, there are people who will cross those boundaries.

Also, you may notice that there are times when you have issues with personal boundaries. If you do not establish them clearly enough, you may find someone who takes advantage. If the limits you set are too rigid, it can make you feel sad, isolated, and even misunderstood by others. It is important that you identify and maintain healthy boundaries while also realizing the uniqueness of every person around you.

Healthy Boundaries Means Healthy Relationships

When you establish healthy boundaries, you are also able to establish healthy relationships with people. Once you are able to identify healthy boundaries and the uniqueness of others, you can clearly convey your limitations while understanding the needs and emotions of people around you. Some people will differ in their approach, their desires, and their need for a clear explanation of your limitations.

As you learn that there are people who react differently, you might also be able to adjust your personal boundaries to better feet the uniqueness of each individual you meet. The best way to develop healthy boundaries and healthy relationships is to identify problem areas so you know what you need to fix. Answer the following questions below to identify problem areas.

Using a scale of 1 to 3, which 1 meaning never, 2 meaning sometimes, and 3 meaning always, answer the following questions:

1. Once I have had the time to observe a person, I can come to trust them.
2. When I have personal needs, I expect to fill them myself rather than letting someone else do it for me.
3. If I trust someone, I am able to tell them my personal feelings and thoughts.
4. When I know someone truly cares about me, I seek them out for emotional intimacy.
5. I only allow those I trust and who care about me to participate in physical intimacy with me.
6. When it comes to relationships, I am capable of making decisions for myself.
7. I am always able to consider how my actions will affect someone else.
8. I maintain focus on goals I set for myself or personal needs without
9. I make sure that I never let anyone take advantage of me.
10. I have a grasp on who I am as a person and what I want for myself and the future of my life.

If you find that you feel unsure about any of the questions above, you might also have an issue with personal boundaries and healthy relationships. If you have trouble setting healthy boundaries for yourself so you can form healthy relationships, you might consider speaking with a therapist. A therapist can help you find ways to set boundaries while also helping you maintain healthy relationships.

Monica Ramunda is a cognitive behavioral therapist with offices located in Louisville and Denver, Colorado for in-office visits. With a Master’s Degree in Counseling Psychology and more than 16 years experience in therapy and counseling, Monica works as both a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and Registered Play Therapist (RPT) with adults and children respectively. Much of Monica’s success is based on her eclectic orientation and drawing on a wide range of different approaches and techniques all while remaining strongly grounded in the principles of Cognitive Behavioral Techniques (CBT).