No, it doesn’t always feel like there are many gifts to getting old: forgetting things more easily, hot flashes, managing elderly parents, launching our children into adulthood, or dealing with an unwanted divorce or relationship ending. But this significant life transition can actually be a blessing and an opportunity for us to create the life we have always wanted. As I am now in my mid-50s, I have had time to see some of these benefits in myself, my clients, and my colleagues as we navigate this brave new world we have been thrust into. While the midlife years have their challenges, they also offer great opportunities for growth, reinvention, and living life more authentically and in our truth.
I recall feeling betrayed by my body when adjusting to all the physical changes that came along with menopause—the hot flashes, sleepless nights, achy joints, and irritability that rivaled my children in their teenage years. Yes, it was not easy, but as I worked through some of the physical changes, I realized there was a new sense of self. I was no longer so worried about being agreeable and watering things down to make my feedback more palatable. I started saying it like it was and spoke my truth! I didn’t worry so much about not hurting others’ feelings or giving the “soft” easy explanations. Speaking my truth was empowering. No more tap dancing for my audience or not asking for what I wanted for fear of hurting someone’s feelings. I found a new directness and empowered way of speaking my truth, unadulterated and without all the “I’m sorry,” “it’s okay,” “no problem,” “don’t worry about it,” or “I don’t mind.” This new way of saying it like it is and asking for what I wanted without all the apologies was liberating and empowering! I didn’t worry about everyone else’s feelings but moved into a place where it’s okay to ask for what you want, even if someone didn’t like you asking. In the words of Austin Powers, “Yeah, baby, yeah!”
Another gift of aging is that I find I have less time for nonsense or things that don’t serve me. The deep recognition that I potentially have less time ahead of me than behind me puts in stark contrast the importance of getting busy and living the life I want. I don’t have all the time in the world to do the things that are important to me. It helped me identify the people, events, and experiences I wanted to be part of and trim the fat of anything that didn’t move me or align with my values and importance in my life. Amen to living a life for me!
Speaking of living a life for me, prioritizing friendships and relationships that nourish and support me, and letting go of those that just feel like an energy drain has been crucial. Whether it had become a one-sided relationship, they chose to live a life of drama and wanted an audience, or we simply no longer connected or our values were not aligned, I gave myself permission to let those relationships go. I found friendships where it felt joyful, reciprocal, and enjoyable to be with the person. I had spent my life giving people the benefit of the doubt, telling myself, “Oh, they didn’t mean that,” or “They are too wrapped up in their own lives.” What a relief to finally release those friendships and see more kindred souls willing to nurture a friendship and see the value in me!
I love working with women managing life transitions, whether that means adjusting to motherhood, transitioning to life with adult children, dealing with divorce, or navigating retirement. I firmly believe that every stage of life is an opportunity for transformation and positive change. Reach out to me at info@monicaramundatherapy.com and check out my website at
Monica Ramunda has been in private practice for over 23 years, treating anxiety, depression, and trauma, and assisting individuals in managing life transitions. She has received the Best of Louisville, CO award for mental health services six years in a row. Monica also leads women’s psychedelic retreats for those seeking purpose, managing life transitions, and seeking a reset in their lives. Check out www.monicaramundatherapy.com.
Additionally Monica also leads women’s psychedelic retreats for women seeking purpose,managing life transitions and seeking a reset in their life. Check out www.wellnessandwisdomjourneys.com
